So I found myself watching Emiko while she was sleepy/sleeping last night. It still amazes me how fascinated I can be with something that does relatively little, in all reality. Every breath she takes is, to me, the most wondrous thing I have ever seen. It’s hard to quantify or put into words, but I do truly feel that she is the closest thing to a miracle that I have ever experienced in my life.

Smiling Emi.

How can anyone not melt for that?

Anyway, as I was watching her sleep, at one point she stretched and yawned, after which she started smacking her lips. Not only was it criminally cute, but I remembered seeing it somewhere before.

That was an ultrasound that Sara had back at the end of July, almost two months before Emi was born and before we knew whether she was Emiko Renee or Stormhammer Deathforge.*

*NOTE: Sara never agreed to the boy’s name, but I like to think that I could have gotten her to agree while she was hooked up to the painkillers.

Moot point anyhow, as Emi she was. It’s very weird for me to look back at this Ultrasound now and see so many of the same mannerisms that Emi displays now at work while still in utero. Especially the lip smacking and eye rubbing. While it’s all fuzzy and not the clearest of images, I can see my little girl in that alien-form head that is shown in this video.

I remember just sitting and watching this video when Sara first gave it to me (in its unedited 15-minute form; you’re welcome) and I remember how fascinated I was by it. Turns out, it was nothing compared to the real thing. That little girl has become my weakness, but truth be told if one had to choose their own Kryptonite, I could have made a far worse selection.

So many people go through life trying to find out why they are here, and what they are meant to do. I am lucky enough to have found a career that I truly enjoy and that keeps me stimulated and interested. I am lucky to have a great family, and an awesome wife that makes my existence much more tolerable than it would be without her. There are many people who never have these things despite a lifetime of searching.

But the first moment I held Emiko in my arms, that was when I knew why I am here, and what my purpose is.

I love you, Emiko.



  1. C says:

    Oh my gosh that little smile does make me melt. She’s beautiful, Matt. I’m so happy for you both.

    On a related note, counting wife and baby, hasn’t your real life begun? Perhaps a change of blog title is in order ;)

  2. Shelly says:

    Wow, that little girl really has turned you to a large pile of mush, hasn’t she…. Not in a bad way of course. This happens to all good men when they have babies, esp girls. But thanks for being one of the bigger men to admit it b/c I really do love reading your updates :)

    Oh and Stormhammer Deathforge…. yea I think I’d have to object to that as well, lol

  3. badmash says:

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