Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

Don’t let the title deceive you, the trip was actually quite uneventful and Emi behaved quite well the entire time. Actually, she straight up slept the entire trip, both ways. I just liked the title because it’s the name of a cheesy 80′s movie starring Jennifer Jason Leigh. Awesome.

Anyway, as I said, Emi slept in transit both ways, and really only woke up while we were actually IN the consulate trying to get everything taken care of. Of course, she was fussy then, so Daddy had to use every magic trick in his arsenal to keep her placated, much to the amusement (or bemusement) of the Consular staff. I got smiles and a compliment on my singing to her, which is always nice.

Ego stroke for the win.

So, to answer the questions of anyone who might be asking, no we didn’t get any pictures of the trip. She was asleep for most of it, and the one time she was awake we didn’t have our camera, as they confiscate and hold hostage anything electronic when you enter the consulate building. I was actually kind of peeved about that, because I would have loved to get a picture of Emi with the American flag as a backdrop, but it was simply not meant to be.

Thanks, terrorists, for ruining that photo op. Uncool, guys.

Anyhow, we managed to get the paperwork finished without too much of a hassle, and everything seems to be in order, which is a very good thing. Emi’s passport will be mailed to us in about two weeks, and then she’ll be almost legal. Almost. The passport will end up bearing one of the following three photos:

Emi shows us innocent curiosity.

Emi the happy drunk.

Emi is not in the mood for your shenanigans.

I’m pulling for the first one, and so was the woman at the consulate. Hopefully it will work out that way.

Before I move on, I would like to take a moment to address the people who designed the layout of the roads and walkways in downtown Osaka.

What were you on?

Seriously, what should have been a 15 minute walk, TOPS, was made into a 45-minute safari through an urban jungle because the walkways are not the same as the roadways, and only the roadways are shown on the maps. We had to double back several times and climb more stairs than I care to recall. Then, when we finally arrive at our destination (according to the map) we see nothing. Luckily I saw a tiny American Eagle on the side of a building out of the corner of my eyes before I gave up and went to the police station.

I was either going to ask for directions or have them lock me up for my own safety and that of those around me. Either would have worked.

Anyway, once I was able to determine that the method to the madness of downtown Osaka is in fact no method at all, it wasn’t so bad to navigate. Whatever my gut instinct was, I did the opposite. We got where we were headed with no problem.

Anyone else remember Willow being tested by the High Nelwyn? I would have passed on that day.

So, ridiculous city design aside, we got our stuff done fairly quickly, and hit a fairly renowned Italian joint on the way back to the station, because Sara was ravenous for anything that wasn’t Japanese. Ridiculously awesome all-you-can-eat buffet, 2400 yen, and 80 minutes later, and I was full to bursting. We headed on back to the station to catch the bus back to the airport and arrived just in time to be about four and a half hours early for our flight.

Unfortunately, because we got the cheap seats, we weren’t afforded the luxury of changing our flight time, and the attendants merely laughed at us mockingly and sent us on our way. We went to the counter and paid what was the equivalent cost of a third ticket just so we could catch and earlier flight home. It was worth it though, as we got in around 6-ish rather than 10-ish.

A good day overall, but we are exhausted like whoa, and all those stairs have left my back screaming… Screaming for Vengeance. We’ve pretty much collapsed and are waiting for sweet sleep to overtake us.

So why am I still awake?

Well, Emiko slept all day during the trip, so guess who’s wide awake?

God have mercy on our souls…

-Matt